nothing goes into nothingness
and the dress goes back to black,
tiles get hung in odd places
like the void between a refidgerator and the wall,
just to fill it.
the pressure builds up and i am crushed underneith it
like a head-on collision,
the weight of the world, the weight of the world
balances as a megalith upon my head like the book exercises from charm school.
It hurts again this confusion,
between me and my thoughts,
struggles of here and there
not worked out
the clay was clay and it broke, it broke me
it became unfun, when that is what it is about
this pang this pang
deep in my chest eating at my stomach
stuck between indecsion and indecisiveness
i look to the north star
it twinkles then goes dark,
dark dark dark the darkness surrounds me
darkest hour darkest days
bring me back o holy man
back to life from this rut im in
different life
different days
different places and places to play
different room
different mind
covered in horror-vacui
down down down, down i go
on another path unknown
stray and never be found, stay however and youre still hell bound.
they’ll all be disapointed when they come this friday night
to see what im up to
and nothing is there to show them
what a waste of time and money spent
they’ll think
this niece of ours: artist
pish posh
just another dreamer who dreamed to big
i understand or at least i think i do
i cant be mad or can i
i worked so hard and yet i have almost nothing to show
upset
dissapointment
prepardedness for the world ahead
i am not nor am i
it was said and it was not
no note
just little tabs of blue around me but none for me
and i
i took it well and then i found out
still play my part?
still act well my part for there all honor lyes?
no, no i think not
how, how to react
ready, ready to fly
fly away from this place and clear my head
and not create constantly for once, for the first time in 5 years
to breathe and be ready
to decide what is right
and what is mine
what and where and where to go
california
the coast the shore
water
and the open air
a beach and salt in my hair
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