I’m getting that itch again.

That itch to make.

It feels good.

It’s been along time since I have had the want to make.

What do I want to make?

A couple weekends ago my dad, his girlfriend Darla, her daughter Maryl and I took a trip to Des Monies to see the Broadway tour of Wicked. For those who don’t, Wicked is a musical about the lives of the witches of Oz before Dorthy dropped in. I can say without a doubt I had the best seat of my theatre going life (so far I’m only 23) at that production: 3 rows back from the stage dead center. I almost cried out of pure joy in the fact I could see the detailing on the costumes and sets.  If you haven’t seen this musical go see it because you will be blown away by it.

While in Des Monies we watched Abigail Breslin film scenes for her next film Janie Jones and we went to the Botanical Garden. I loved the botanical garden, why can’t Kansas City have one? Or if it does where is it? Favorite plants at the garden: the screw pine-hands down the coolest plant I have ever seen, the Vanilla Orchid-I didn’t know vanilla was an orchid, and the Banana Tree.

On October 7 at 8/7c PBS will show two episodes of Craft In America. Please watch this! My former Porfesser Cary Esser is featured as well as my Alma Mater: the Kansas City Art Institute.

The director of the segment is interviewing Victor Babu

This was taken on one of the two days the Craft in America crew was filming, one of the producers owns a gallery in California? she was speaking to us about gallery representation. Notice how we all look so nice and clean? On both filming days the entire studio was dressed to the 9' it seemed which is funny for a bunch of dirty ceramics kids.

I’m sorry faithful readers, if there are any, that I have been so bad about updating this regularly.

I have been looking for a job, and had no, zip, zilch, nada bites yet. Not even and interview. WTF? JC Penny’s didn’t even want me, again I ask WTF?! seriously? I have a college degree. I can fluff and fold with the best of them. I shop at your store. What’s wrong with me? And another thing and this is to ALL employers out there what’s up with this putting up a “WE’RE HIRING INQUIRE WITHIN” sign and then telling the perspective applicant to go home and apply online. WTF?!!!! Do you know what apply online means to those of us desperate for work it means 20 minutes-hour of time we could be doing other things like looking for other jobs filling out your online app and stupid personality test! It means a guaranteed we will not call you, a because of the volume of applicants we can not tell you why you were not chosen and a don’t call us.

Another thing what’s with this “accepting applications” stuff. Do you know what that means?  It means I just spent 30 minutes filling out your application for a NON-EXISTANT position, and that you may or may not call me if something becomes available, And just incase something does open up you’ll keep my application on file along with 4 billion other ones. Maybe my name will come up one day……..when I’m 50.

I’m sorry dear readers I had to get that out because looking for a job has been the most demoralizing, self esteem killing experience I have ever had. I know a lot of people out there are looking for work. People like me who are college educated, skilled employees who don’t want to throw in the towel and work at Wal-Mart and who shouldn’t have to say do you want fries with that? just to make some money. I realize I am young and new to the work force, but competing against people my parent’s age for the same job is not fair to me or them.

I’m going to climb down from my soap box now………..

I recently took a trip to the Des Monies Art Center to see the Tara Donovan exhibit. I cannot begin to tell you how her work has affected me as an artist nor how seeing this exhibition has helped me understand my work and place it into context.

My favorite piece was entitled Haze, and completely made of drinking straws.  The beauty of this piece is indescribable, The words that come mind are etherial, heavenly and mystical.  Like something you might see when entering the twilight zone(no not the stupid vampire movie, okay maybe the Bermuda triangle is a better smilie).

Haze by Tara Donovan 2003

Other pieces I really liked at the Art Center where: Francis Bacon’s Study After Velasquez’s Portrait of Pope Innocent X, Jeff Koons Vacuum’s, and one of the actual subway drawings from Keith Haring.

It’s been 3 months since I posted on here, wow that is a long time! I blame my absence on the fact I pretty much lost it (and by “it” I mean my sanity, and will to make art) at the end of my exhibition semester, and have been hibernating and job hunting. 

The job search btw, completely sucks. I have no idea what I’m doing. I just want something so I can pay my bills right now, and start saving for those enormous student loan bills I will be receiving in October. any suggestions? 

I realize now I am graduated this site needs a fix-up, so be on the look out; I’ll be posting new things and deleting old things over the next week or so.

The train is gaining speed, graduation is looming closer and closer, I feel like time and space are flying by and like I am a passenger on a train that is about to crash off a bridge. this wheel is fastly coming to an abrupt stop, and I might spin out in to nothingness

In little more than a month I will have to wake up and join the “real” world.  But what if I am not ready to wake up? 

Have I cherished this time? Have I used it to the best of my ability?

I sit here in my studio on Tuesday afternoon, 36 hours of no sleep and contemplating my future. Plan A failed I was not accepted to the next elimination round of teach for america. I wonder how many of us there are who were rejected? I’m not bitter, well maybe a little, I’ll get over it though. I have bigger and better options to look forward too and other teaching opportunities to find.

When I told my mom she was disappointed, well I was too, she told me to pray about other options. Pray. This is something I have not done in 5 years plus probably. It seems to me, as she gets older her faith that god will provide grows, and as I get older my faith continually fails me. I don’t know where I stand on this idea of an all powerful being. I was raised christian, I accepted Christ when I was 14(?) and now I am 22, worldly and lost in thought on the whole god issue. I can’t reject my upbringing, the morals and values that where instilled, but at the same time these values go with being a good person and being a cooperative member of society. 

I know I have been fortunate. I have been given opportunities that others have not and I question were those opportunities given to me through divine providence or because I earned them. I know my life has a path. Is it one laid out for me like the bible says or it is lady fortuna blessing me? 

I feel something, I feel it every time I listen to joyful music, and I feel it every time I see an amazing piece of art. I feel it every time I walk into some thing considered scared. A peaceful quiet.  But what is it? Is it god calling me? even though he knows I will fail, again and again and again? It has been a long time since I have felt a solid connection to god, let alone like anyone was listening when I prayed. 

So I don’t know……I am 22, and lost, scared to death of what awaits me.

I recently installed Flocon de Neige at the library, please go see it, it will be up through the beginning of feburary. Flocon de Neige means snowflake in french. Statement and gallery below

Flocon de Neige is an installation currently on display at the Kansas City Art Institute’s Jannes Library. The piece consists of five hundred individual snowflakes that are cut from thin porcelain patterned slabs. The installation is suspended in the window, so the viewer may observe the effect the snowflakes have on their environment. Light is a significant component to this piece. As the sun shines through the windows and the day progresses from light to dark, the elements of Flocon de Neige reveal their translucency and cast shadows.